Gir Gets a Facebook
by Lilly Winters
Summary: After reluctantly allowing Gir to keep his new Facebook profile, Zim soon realizes his mistake a little too late as he watches the little green dog becomes obsessed more and more each day. Funny Oneshot.


**A/N**

**Ah, yes, I have not written a good Zim and Gir Friendship/ Humor Fic in a while! I think you will like this one. With all the craze running ramped about Facebook and whatnot, I thought it would make a perfect story for our little green dog and Irken.**

**I do NOT own Invader Zim, Facebook, Twitter, etc.**

**Enjoy!**

**Day 1:**

He glided the mouse over the button and clicked. A _ding_ popped, and he clapped wildly. Another click received yet another fit of giggles. Gir was thoroughly pleased with his new discovery; the same could not be said for the Irken standing in the other room.

Zim cringed when a train of even more laughter rode in, carrying the title proudly of Gir Express. Concentrating on your newest plan for world domination was not easy when your evil minion was going rather insane in the room right next to you.

"For the love of…" he grumbled, stepping into the living room. As expected, Gir sat perched at the computer in the corner, tail wagging. He peered over his shoulder at his master and screeched a hello.

"Gir, what could be so important that you have to make all of this ridiculous commotion?"

The little green dog stood on top of the pile of books which were stack upon the chair, and pointed excitedly. "Isn't it pretty?" he droned.

His eyes scanned across the screen. "Face…Book? Is that not that filthy website that the humans spend hours upon, posting meaningless statements about their miserable lives?"

Gir nodded animatedly.

"How dare you betray the Irken Empire by participating in the Earthly ways of virtual communication! I should have the piggy take out your—wait, is that Dib?"

"Uh-huh. We're friends," he hummed, tapping the screen to show him the human's picture.

Zim shoved his paw away and squinted. "Hmm, so you can see what the Dib-beast is doing just by clicking on his 'profile'?" he inquired, putting emphasis around the word.

Again, Gir nodded.

"Perhaps this website could be of use to me. Alright, Gir, I shall allow you to keep your sign in. But keep an eye on the Dib-worm and alert me of everything he is doing at all times."

He squeaked excitedly and whooped. "I'm going to be famous!"

**Day 2:**

Down in his lab, Zim twisted the bolt further into the machine. A struggling _clunk_ screeched from the gears. He groaned and pulled the light hanging from above closer to his work.

"Alright, Gir," he said over his shoulder, "whenever I say so, press that blinking blue button next to the lever, okay?"

The little robot batted an imaginary butterfly, completely oblivious to his master.

"Gir, pay attention!"

Gir gasped and saluted. "Yes, my lord!"

He tightened it a little more until he heard the gears click into place. Waiting a moment longer, he glanced up at the timer ticking down the seconds. "Okay and…now!" The button was not pressed. "Gir, you can push the blue button now." It still remained un-pushed. He growled. "Gir, I thought I said—Gir?" He looked around, yet found the robot nowhere in sight.

The timer beeped, red lights flashed, gears bustled, and oil squirted out. He sputtered, sticking his hands out to stop the flow from hitting his face. When all was settled, he ripped a rag from his pocket and scrawled it across his cheek while making his way to the elevator.

Just as he had suspected, Gir was seated at the computer.

"What are you doing, Gir?"

He shriveled down and slowly faced his master. "Um…playing on the computer?"

"I thought I said I needed your help down in the lab."

He whimpered. "You did, but…"

"But…?"

"I just wanted to play on Facebook first," he squeaked, grinning sheepishly.

Zim glared over his shoulder at the illuminated monitor. "_That_ is what was so important? You couldn't have waited for five minutes to help me?"

The little robot hopped off of the chair and, with head tilted to the ground, wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, master," he whined. "I didn't mean to do bad."

Zim glared, yet frowned and sighed. "Oh, it's all right, Gir. You can help me fix the machine later. Just don't make a habit out of this."

Gir clapped before saluting.

**Day 3:**

"Gir it is three o'clock in the morning! Get off of the computer and go to bed!"

"Just one more profile," he pleaded. "Let me just look at one more profile!"

"Ugh…okay, fine. But it had better be Dib's."

Soft paws scampered down the steps, tickled a few keys, clicked the mouse, giggled, and pitter-pattered back up. Zim shook his head as he saw the green dog return. For reasons unknown to him, Gir always wore his disguise whenever he was on Facebook, no matter what time of day.

"Well?" he shrugged.

"Well what?"

"Did you check on the Dib-worm?"

"Oh, um yeah. He was buying a hamster."

"At three o'clock in the morning?"

"Um, uh-huh."

His eyes narrowed. "And just where did he buy this furry creature from?"

He scuffed his foot on the floor. "At the slushie shop down the street."

He rubbed his temples, sighing. "So let me get this straight. The Dib went out at three o'clock in the morning to purchase a hamster from a slushie shop?"

Gir nodded. He stepped back when Zim hopped out of the bed and crossed the room over to him, bending over to his level. He avoided eye contact.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that, Gir."

He struggled to remain eye to eye before he began shivering. Yelping, he buried his face into his paws. "Okay, I lied," he whimpered. "There is no hamster sale at the slushie shop.

"I knew it…" Zim scolded. "From now on I want no more lying, or I will shut down your Facebook. Do you understand?"

He giggled, smiling.

**Day 11:**

"No! Just one more day!"

"Gir, you have been on that website for five days straight! That is enough!"

His paws clung to the computer chair and his squeal of frustration only grew louder. Zim tugged on his back legs, but his little minion would not budge. He sighed before wiggling a finger on his side. Gir sniggered, mistakenly releasing the arm of the chair. He launched backwards, landing right on top of the Irken.

"I didn't want to resort to tickling," he shook his head, dusting himself off, "but you left me no choice. This little addiction of yours has to stop. Gir, are you listening to me?"

His tail wagged as he signed into yet another website. Zim stepped over to read the page.

"Twitter? What is a Twitter?"

"It's like Facebook," he chirped.

"Like Facebook…" he gaped. "Just how many profiles do you have?"

"Well, I have them all under Gir…"

"No, Gir, I don't care if you have numerous logins under the name Gir. I am asking just how many different logins do you have? You have one at Facebook, and apparently another at this Twitter. That's already two. So how many are there?"

He whimpered, shuffling his foot against the floor.

"Ah, ah, the pity trip won't work. Tell me how many."

He mumbled something.

"I can't hear you."

"I have four-hundred thirty-two different logins," he muttered lowly. He laughed nervously and smiled. "But I have good news! I made you a sign-in too. And I sent Dib a friend request, just for you!

_Thud_.

"Master, why are you on the floor? Oh, are you sleeping? …Master?"

**A/N**

**Yes, Zim did pass out at the end after hearing that Gir had sent a friend request to Dib :D. Oh, Gir… XD It's okay, Zim. We understand if you cry yourself to sleep at night ^-^**

**I hope you liked it and thanks for reading!**


End file.
